4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
