sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
