dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
