Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
