do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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