see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize