In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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