Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
