I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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