Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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