She's JV to your varsity
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
