remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
