Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
