Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
