Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
