He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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