That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
