What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Less talking, more tequila
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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