new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
