don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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