And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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