I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize