i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
