Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
