I heard we made out
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
