If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
