I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
