Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize