My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Text me some of your sweat
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