how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
