You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
