conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
