5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
