She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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