Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i came on her dog
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
