3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
