I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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