Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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