Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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