shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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