DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
