Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
