Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
