David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
