Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
