If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
