I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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