He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize