there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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