He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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