I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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