Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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