He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
