i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
