So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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