I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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