I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
