I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
