awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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