Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
