It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
