I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize