Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
