Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
