im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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