Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
