Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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