He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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