Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
