i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
