Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
