she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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