There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
