Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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