I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
