I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
