But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
