Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
