I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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