She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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