i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
