So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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