idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
