The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
